No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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