just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
