I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
