Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just had sex bonerless
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i now understand why vodka
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