McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
