Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
