FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
