I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
