new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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