I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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