I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
