White coat. Heels.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
