Don't you send me to vm
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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