my mouth tastes like poor choices
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
