it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
