She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
