no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
