i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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