Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
