angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
