Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
