Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
