You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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