We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
