i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
