My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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