Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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