i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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