We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
