Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
