Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
