And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
