Nicole vs. Life
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
