North Korea, Best Korea!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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