I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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