So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
