I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
