Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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