You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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