Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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