tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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