Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I had to cum in my sink.
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