I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize