your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
