I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
