this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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