You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Apparently you make a good broom.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
