trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
