I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
