Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
