I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
