she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
